i are happy & gay (:

HAHA. HAH.

today surprisingly i when i went for training, i was pretty on-form (: YAYNESS. actually, my stamina deteriorated by A HELL LOT. but oh well, my speed was pretty okay (: maybe it was because i didn't train for so long so i'm not really sick at tired but i feel happy to be back training and doing some exercise. it feels GOOD :D hurhur.

before that i ate lunch with kelly. we had cup noodles for lunch! talked and spas-ed quite a bit too LMAO. i had two cups of tom yam actually x) [but felt uncomfortable later when i had training. too hot] well, and then when i was pouring hot water for my second cup, the bloody tap moved for no reason, and before i knew it, i had hot water all over my hand, scalded. [thankfully not disfigured hoho]! ><" wanted to curse loudly but then this little primary school boy was standing beside me staring. oh well. it HURT a lot. the water was so damn hot that my fingers were red and burning like wtf !@#$%^&* damn, i are clumsy.

then after that had dinner outside with kelly, nicholas and kenny. bet is nicholas wanna come along and have lunch with kelly one x). sigh, but nevermind la, be lightbulb also nice (: [OHSOH CANN.] ate at yoshi's, then realised that almost everyone was staring at us, giving us dirty looks. WTH. kelly say is because two guys and two girls go eat together, somemore the shirt got pair one, like couple shirt, two black two yellow, so they think we're dating or something. DFHTFDHGDFHF. PLEASE LAH. look at us can, most of the time only one person doing the talking and it's so quiet and awkward over the table do we really look like we're boyfriend/girlfriend meh? and the same shirt colour is just coincidental lah. it's really dumb. i see those women giving us that kind of face i really want to go up to them and scream 'IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS OKAY. WE'RE DAMN GOOD STUDENTS FROM DUNMAN HIGH' ^^V CHEESE :D. oh well. suit themselves. i'm fine with it if they're so stupid and shallow. &! it's not like we held hands or made a lot of noise that kinda shit. we're proper teenagers going out for dinner together after a tiring training :D cannot meh? wah lau eh.

KNNBCCB. it's annoying to see how shallow people can be and how they jump to conclusions with what little evidence they have =\ great, now i'm angry ne. >:[

for making it so wonderful (:

to my darlings of 2G.generation'o5 :

kelly; my lelly kai, gay bio partner, fuck buddy, seating partner with we both share such a rocking permanent position, spastic towner, sessy legs, horney porney ji ko peh rapist, with hair that rocks my life, etc (and the lists goes on and on) HOW I WISH I CAN MARRY YOU! hoho. then we'll get a divorce (: you're such a wonderful companion the past two years! thanks for all those hilarious times we had together and doing all the wierd things, so much that i can't even remember! those were great memories, and it'll continue when we go to TJC eh? (: MORE SPASTICATION. ONE DAY I BELIEVE LELLY&CLENE WILL CONQUER THE WORLD! :D

yanting; with the biggest eyes i ever saw on a girl, you remind me of my MOM o_o;; oh well. so quiet, yet laugh until so damn loud hurhur. all the times we had when we went to the airport and to kfc! of course the memories we all have as a group of four (: let's look forward to tjc eh? it'll be fun fun fun x)

wenqian; miss sophistication, who will most probably continue to sophisticate in vjc all the way till she's 106 years old. the big little princess with such lameness. carries her bag in such a way that it makes me wanna go for plastic surgery so that no one will recognise me when i'm with her hoho. incredibly smart, that it's not fair! will miss the times when we walked at orchard and the precious third language times (of course together with weicheng HAHAHA) best chairperson that 2G could ever ask for.

HANziying; don't call her surname very bushuang one. one hell of a siao char bo. almost brainless, but god let her keep half of her brain to use in the case of emergency x) OH WHAT MERCY! forever noisy and irritating. all the times we gayed at sakae sushi, kfc and many more public places that i think we kinda disgraced the school lmao. the one who always tries to cheer me up although i give the cold shoulder when i'm moody and tired (: terribly sorry. but oh well, what a happy fruit eh. (kai xin guo)

eunice; NGAU. so tall, so mighty, so courageous, so wonderful, so intelligent, so amazing, so fabulous, so irritating (and the list goes on to irritate more.) x) hurhur. she and her hideous laughter. i won't forget the exam period when i spent so much quality time crapping with her haha. has a temper which people shouldn't try to test. but at the same time, a great person to talk to (:

yixian; my xian baby! the ABSOLUTE eccentric one. the best seating partner one could ever ask for. extremely nice. one day i will see her as the top hairdresser who started out by chopping off the hair on her stuffed lion's mane. tsk tsk. the ultimate girl to towner and go spastic with, and never fails to make me laugh, yet such a nice person to talk to. of course, she loves her husband (the class OHP) who's currently locked in the class cupboard and will most likely never see it again. also mercilessly assasinated the cute class bear with tiffany, dissecting it's body and wrapping it in black plastic bags before dumping it in various toilets and flower pots. almost set the science lab on fire with her gay lab partner (:

limei; yay for the ultimate gay one! pisai number one forever (: for laughing so loud and sitting in front of me, will be missing you :D

steffi; stempy, the towner head prefect hurhur. so pretty, so rich, oh so paris (: has nice hair. DAMN SO SMART TOO. maths damn power. from D7 to a A2. *bows*

tiffany; not much has to be said, just read my mind. i know you can (: the shoppings, and THE PACT [HOOK IT OR DIE] thanks for being there for me. and i'll throw the same thing back at you, i promise that i'm always here, whenever & anytime. MUCH LOVES, ALWAYS (:

thanks for everything. you're the ultimate classmates. those memories i'll keep forever in my heart, and i take along when i leave. those tears on your faces i'll never forget.

the last recess.

there was something melancholy hanging over the school today morning. the atmosphere was wierdly mellow with an out-of-place kind of noise and had a prominent, peaceful silence. i had little hours of sleep the night before but i wasn't feeling the tiredness i usually did today.

the principal was delivering a speech to our DM as he was retiring at the end of this year. the DM is actually a really nice man who has strong moral values that he always instilled in us. lots of people hate him but after thinking about it, he's really a good mentor, the image and role-model for dhs. halfway through delivering the long speech, the principal stopped. i thought that he was trying to find the right words to say. however, that silence continued, and the school waited. the principal's mouth was turned downwards, and he stared down hard at his paper. the corners of his mouth pointed downwards and began to twitch a bit. he then quickly thinned his lips and blinked hard. students around me started to whisper to one another. our dear principal (whom i have the highest respect for, as he's not only a great principal, but also a good man, husband and father) was trying his best to hold back his tears in front of the whole school. he brought his mic up to his mouth, tried to say something but nothing came out, then put the mic back down. did this several times, trying his hardest to not cry. he then paced up and down, searching for the right words to say but the emotions overwhelmed him and he blinked harder and rubbed his nose. from the corner of my eyes i saw the vice-principal taking out a hankerchief and wipe his eyes. after a minute or two, he then stepped down and told the vice to take over, clearly being shaken and unable to continue. the way he tried his hardest to hold back his tears showed me the pride that he has and for the school, and how much respect he had for our DM. (he was an ex-pupil here) i thought that it was so touching, and i nearly cried. (for the principal, not for the DM) words could not describe everything that was being protrayed.

the last recess, was a quiet one. my good friends and i sat down altogether at one table and ate our food. in the background, songs were being played as students were allowed to make music dedications. the songs were rather sad and solemn, giving the mood that it was the last day and most people wanted to dedicate songs to their class of 2 years. tiffany started to tear, and everyone else being emotionally affected as well, began to tear too. she started to sniff really badly, and could not eat anymore. the rest of us ate in silence. 'Graduation' played. most of us couldn't help but started to tear and sniff just like tiffany, but continued to eat. initially they tried to rub away the tears and dab their eyes with tissues but the tears kept welling up in everyone's eyes. i too was trying my very best to hold back my tears. but seeing tiffany so upset, yanting's eyes so red with tears, i couldn't help it and my eyes reddened too. then i saw eunice. i know her as the strong and tough one, and never did see her cry before. her eyes were red. but she couldn't take it anymore, and when the first tear rolled down her cheeks, i gave away. i broke down in tears, sobbing and choking. i just couldn't hold it back any longer. i wanted to leave, but i couldn't bear to leave my beloved classmates behind. the times we shared were ever so great, and i just cried because i really love them and thinking that we'll no longer have fun as a class made me upset. the bond that we all share, was too strong. we all just couldn't be apart. i sobbed harder, hearing the lyrics of the song. i turned to see kelly head hung low below the table, trying her best to wipe away the tears. i've never seen kelly cry before, only once when she failed a test. she was like one of those that would take A HELL LOT to cry. usually when a group cried, she was the last one standing with no tears. this time, she too gave way. it made me more upset. by now, no one could continue to eat and everyone was too overwhelmed. no one could even TRY to finish up their food. i saw eunice cupping her face in her hands and let it all go and cried as if it was really painful, with the music contributing to all the intense emotions. it was hard to think that we won't be seeing much of each other anymore, eat as a group, play as a group, talk and play a fool together. from now onwards, so much is going to take place and the changes that we'll see will be drastic. i know that everyone is fearing of what will become of us a few years down the road. will we still say hello to each other when we meet? will we still have fun and laugh so much? the past two years, they made life in dhs a really happy one for me, and i cherish all those times we had. now we're all hugging one another, because almost half of us are leaving. we always laughed and joke around, never were serious. now to see everyone just breaking down at the table was so heartwrenching. the tears and sadness i saw on everyone's faces were worth a million words. i just wished that we could stay together forever, but life's never like that.

thank you for everything, maybe it would be the last time we'll be wringing our hands over each other's shoulders in a circle, maybe it'll be the last time we'll all sit down together and eat at one table. i don't know. i love you all so so much, 2G.

this parting, is a sad one. but it may only be temporary. i'll leave and take along with me the wonderful memories that you all had a part in.

in memory of the G.generation, (2004-2005).

it's coming to an end.

just two more days. i really do love 2G. and the paperwork that the school is giving me before my leave is approved is so darn troublesome. they're just making things really hard for us eh? suit yourself.

after school went to bugis with kelly carrying my BIG HEAVY box full of books and files from the locker and cupboard. damn, my arms are so tired now. no training = weakling x) but i must thank her for helping me a few times, and putting my bag straight haha. bought a bag, and went around looking for high-heeled shoes =\ didn't get one, no money. but i found the shop that has a few good ones. high-heels are dumb. if i can walk for five minutes without tripping or walking like i have leg cramps you'll see sheeps flying and birds swimming (:

oh well, i saw so many things that i want to buy! either during this holidays i:
1) scrimp and save for it
(which is not effective and not the best solution as it always backfires)
2) or find a part time job and work for it
(which is DA BOMB baby! that's so much better hoho.)

option two PLEASE :]]

TAGS! -lazy are us-

uh oh. my dad doesn't seem happy with my results. i just told him the grades of my papers. he was like, ' you wait till i see your report book you're gonna get a caning. ' CANING?! WHY? AFTER ALL THE WORK I'VE PUT IN? i did try my best y'know. and it's not my fault that i can't perform well under exam conditions. (well okay la, it IS actually my fault) but but, i did study for it. and i admit that my maths is just SO SHIT. i totally flunked the paper (even though dad hired a tuition teacher for me) and he was like ' WHY DO I GET A TUITION TEACHER FOR YOU? ' excuse me, i was objecting to the idea all these while and i even told him beforehand that tuition DOES NOT HELP ME. dont listen right? see. i wish they could just save the crap. they don't focus on the good things i did. and they can complain that b3 isn't good enough. HELLO I BUCKED UP ALOT FROM THE FIRST SEMESTER? it's just my MATHS AND CHINESE PLEASE. fcking c5. i can't help it if my first semester just pulls me down again even though i improved this semester. the weightage is just not fair i say! =
talk about good things, i did do well for my japanese. not up to my expectations but still okay. at first i was disappointed, but i couldn't ask for much can't i? and i know that i did fairly badly compared to last year, well but thank God he let me put in my best and gave me what i deserve (: 84! i look forward to the local immersion programme! :D

today in school, is officially the last tie-day i'm going to have in dhs. seriously, i LOVE tie-days. which are mondays. (yeah and i still remember how i'd dream of tying a tie every morning for someone but ARGH) mondays are just slack. and i like (: today we have dumb games in class. talked and ate like pigs during recess. then sat in the auditorium and i almost dozed off. don't know why i'm so tired. school life like that is slack and ABSOLUTELY wonderful and stress free, but hey, the fun doesn't come in without wierd teachers and boring lessons eh? (:

after school went parkway with tiffany! went to get our tags done! oh man spent a BOMB on them, but i like. i hope i don't get too sick of it lol. then we went into the toilet to take photos of our pretty tags! might post them up when she's sent them to me (: then we walked, muched a bit, then just sat down and talked. i like life when it's just so boring x) and you have all the time in the world to do whatever you want. i know i'll get sick of such boring life but hey, i have to relax for a while. and doing nothing is GREAT. that's why i'm not called GOOD-FOR-NOTHING for nothing x) (hoho the self-amusement!)

i'm going to treasure every single day of this week. really. i love my class 2G so darn badly, the wonderful people (: but ew, dhs.

why don't you just go home ?

hellooo (: my exam results weren't very good, what i mean is, not up to standard. as lest, not up to the 'MAN AND WOMAN OF THE HOUSE' 's standards. i think they will be disappointed with me.

well i DID study. maybe not hard. because i don't believe in mugging and i only study when i have the mood to. if i don't think i can study and absorb anything, then i won't study. i don't want to waste precious time. my results are considered really average. i didn't fail anything. and looking at my papers, i think i DID improve and i hope it can pull my marks up. but then again, the weightage of my first semester is so heavy, i think it's all just gonna pull me right down again. so wasted. i really regret slacking for the first half of the year. a total wrong move. in my class i feel like my marks are more of the below-average ones but i think i deserved the marks i got, with all my studying and blah. i don't know, i'm okay with my marks. but just disappointed that i should have worked harder and maybe make my parents happy.

if they aren't happy with my marks this time round and i haven't improved, i don't think i'll get a mp3 player, i don't think i'll get a new phone, and much less a new electric guitar (HAHA) =\ we'll see. i told them, 'let's wait for next friday when you get the report book okay. i'm not saying anything, you see and decide for yourself.'

right, i await for next friday (with anticipation).

BLEED

WHAT'S FOREVER

they sat in the silence of the night
surrounded by the velvet wind
he long saw it coming though
but he didn't say a thing

the peace of the night serenaded them
she quietly sneaked her hand into his
then turned to stare into his soulful eyes
with all her heart, said 'with you it's pure bliss'

his heart tugged, it was bittersweet
he replied 'darling i love you forever'
gave a smile, and glanced away
deep inside, he knew he was a liar

thought to himself, the cold wind sliced him
his heart began fighting with itself
questioned himself, could he really bear to
break her heart, so fragile?

'baby you know i'll love you always'
one last time, he meant all he said
he cried inside, the painful decision
his heart, to another he will give

tomorrow she cries, her soul will die
with anger, the pain she'll release
remembering that night, she'll painfully learn
that 'forever' doesn't exist


fck sai ! pffft.

TILL THEN

if i had forgot about the pain you caused me then
there'd absolutely be no need for the fake pretence
but no one ever did hear my songs to the wind
songs i dedicated to you; alone i sing
darling maybe you'll never know, your whole life
how your lovin' to her cuts my skin like a knife
my gaping wound i leave open; it bleeds through the night
as i'd think of how, under the sheets we'd cuddle tight
tonight i'm lonely, here i stand on this cliff
no amount of time, i say, would ever erase this grief
i ain't that strong girl you knew anymore
my body gave up, my heart stabbed to the core
a step i take, the wind sings me one last song
heart takes flight, left where it last belonged
our past love shrouds me, as i crashed into the blue
i'll wait for you in heaven, till then, i love you


thursday spent slacking

today! man i was so freaked out that the dm would mention about a group of students who brought disgrace to the school (us) PHEW! thank god no one mentioned anything or we'll be in really really deep shit.

got back a few exam papers today. so far, i'm still satisfied. though a bit disappointed with the marks, but i think i deserved it. =\ oh well, tomorrow will be a bad day. i'm getting back the papers for the subjects that i'm so weak at T-T

after school i went for third language. watched a cool japanese movie! oh man the girls inside were sooo cute and the japanese guys were sooooo good looking! hurhur. and best of all, my application for the exchange programme with the japanese secondary school got through! やったね～！超嬉しいだよ～ o^^oV can't wait hoho!

spunk

today had interclass volleyball match with 2I. lost to them though, so tomorrow our class will be fighting for 3rd & 4th position with 2K. everyone did their best today though, and it was an exciting match to watch. i cheered myself hoarse x)

after the match we all decided to walk to mcdonalds for lunch. now here's the highlight for the day mwehehe. there was about 12 of us, and we all sat down together for lunch and got pretty excited and talked really loudly and stuffs. not that we were rowdy or banged any tables. just that the noise put together by 12 noisy girls is PRETTY DARN LOUD HOHO x) we started to recite the mrt announcements over and over in the four different languages. talk about being billingual quadra-lingual lol. okay, so maybe it was kinda disruptive and irritating, but yeah we just wanted to have some fun. and too bad our fun is always LOUD, sometimes very uncivilised x) then all of a sudden grace shouted " hey look that woman is using her handphone to take a video of us!" oh man.

we all swung around and looked at her and caught her with her handphone. no, she didn't put down her phone. she OPENLY continued to take us. that made us quite mad, especially eunice. 'cause we got the feeling that she was going to complain to our school for making so much noise. well we're right, she came over and said that we should watch our behaviour, cause we're a disgrace to the school, making so much noise in a public place, and were disrupting everyone ( i think more like her SON) from doing their own things quietly. said we were a disgrace to the school. HELLO? isn't talking in public places LEGAL? we didn't do anything wrong besides just talking loudly. eunice was DARN MAD. so were we but we kept it in. guess what. she said that she's taken down videos, recorded, and took pictures of us and is going to send them to the school and let the principal deal with us. damn angry she was. but i think she should just mind her own business. no one else seemed to care except her, maybe cause we're disrupting her son from studying. if they'd wanted to study please go to a bloody library, where it's quiet and peaceful. mcdonalds isn't the right environment unless you can stand noise. made a bloody big commotion in mcdonalds though. so we reluctantly left. i wouldn't be surprised if the DM mentions about us during flag raising or shows the recorded video of us during assembly or something. wow then we'd be famous! first we spoilt the fan, then broke the teacher's table, now this. and the best part, only the girls were part of it. all the guys died. hmm, but it's kinda sad that we girls are the trouble makers and caused quite a bad reputation for our class already =\ but i guess the part where that lady took videos and pictures of us was quite overboard. she like, invaded our privacy? dumbshit.

when we came back, we played more volleyball. played till it rained. but it was fun to be playing together under the rain, getting all soaked and stuffs, then dry our smelly wet socks and shoes together. definitely one of the fond memories we shared as a class this year, which i'd remember when we all part (: we're complaining in the rain that we couldn't see clearly thus catched no ball x) then our pe shirts started getting transparent but we didn't care much and continued. it was cold but we only left cause someone said she saw the dm walking around and we didn't want to get punished for getting soaked thoroughly so we stopped. then played some cards while waiting to dry. i guess playing in the rain was the most fun, i so want to do it again! but man, i think i'll be sick tonight ): *sniffs*

oh well, till tomorrow. can't wait for thursday! normal school again! oh what fun we have in the classrooms (:

anger management !

PRECIOUS

you left with a lie and it was all over
i knew what we had, washed away like the water
i'd dig your eyes out and let you see
the one who'd wait for you her whole life was me
dashed my hopes, crushed my heart
my world crubled when you said it's time to part
so like a child, as naive as i could be
always thought you were the right one for me
but the years we had, i held on with loyalty
and promised myself to wait by you faithfully
not that you care anymore the sacrifices i made
betrayed my trust, back off, i wish you were dead

if you'd hadn't showed up maybe we'd still be having fun
if you hadn't stepped in maybe i'd still be his only one
if it wasn't for you maybe he'd still be mine
'cause i knew we both shared a love, so divine
i thought the love we had was so strong
apparently no, it broke when you came along
if you had any common sense girl, you'd see
you'd back off cause it was first him and me
so now i hope you're happy with what you got
and see how tragically our love's come to nought
gotta suck it all up, maybe we weren't meant to be
so i wish you sincerely, ' have a fucked up wedding'

these scars remind me that i've wasted it all
ona love i thought was so true, never had a flaw
the day i stop kidding myself would be the day i move on
but pathetically i chose i to lie and put up this fake front
say you still love me, say you'll come back
i hurt myself more and indulge in regrets
maybe i was wrong from the start, i couldn't see
that too much fairytales burned, how naive of me
yet i still hold on, tried to keep in the tears
while i smile it off and watch you call her 'dear'
the name that once was so familiar to me
now belonged to someone else, her little estasy
they lived happily ever after, while i was left broken
to pick myself up, and watch you and her lovin'
is impossible; you don't know how painful it can be
to feel like you're nothing, and life's just toying with me
well lucky girl, i hope you die with your throat deeply sliced
i'd love to have you wiped across a floor full of knives
i'm sorry for being a bitch and let anger get the best of me
but sorry i can't fucking forgive you for taking my precious baby

entirely original and written by charlene. steal and die. piss off if you don't like (:

AND I LOVE TIFFNY MEGA MEGA <3

what y'know.

if you think that you cannot stand people who like, talks to themselves and asks themselves questions, then i highly advise you to skip this entry. i hope i don't make anyone vomit blood :D

i was thinking, that i'm always either too high (& spastically gay), dreamy, drunk, sleepy or just angry. i guess are my base moods. i'm so drugged hoho. but i always think to myself, am i born like this or am i just forced to become like that because of my environment? (yeah i know it sounds like i'm debating whether shylock is a villain or a victim but anyway,) i just think and think over so many times, trying to understand myself better, hoping to get an answer and i'll rest my case.

i believe that it's both. my mother is stubborn, and can lose control of herself when she's like FURIOUS (which doesn't really happen often because she's only pissed) and i believe that when she is, she's got enough fire to melt the whole of antarctica. YES I AM SERIOUS. my father on the other hand, has one hell of a bad temper, not to mention that he has it short and hot too. it comes as one whole package you see (: and the very good thing about it is, that once you buy one, you get the other for free! :D i so FORTUNATELY happen to inherit these wonderful genes from them both, which now makes me like the invincible fire-breathing dragon right? (oh, english amuses me so sometimes.)

and i'm very sure that these are one of my biggest turn-offs and weakness, to put it honestly. i'm stubborn, hot tempered, short tempered and very bad tempered. and therefore, the biggest reason to why i seem like i'm angry or just plain consumed with hate, as what some people think. i don't think that it's completely untrue, but i just can't help it sometimes. my temper just rises just as fast it subsides it's really so fascinating to see myself boiling with so much anger and the next minute i'm totally calm. i daresay that since three years ago i've been trying to change for the better and improve my temper but sometimes, when things get nasty the fire just blows up from nowhere.

the wierd thing is, that when i'm angry, i feel powerful. so powerful, unlike the usual weakling with that almost zero self confidence that i take with me. it's hard to explain, but i feel strong when i'm angry. the power surges up with great force and you feel that nothing's gonna take you down without you putting up a strong fight. when i'm REALLY angry (which seldom happens, oh rejoice), i get so boiled that my tears just start to flow. one of the first noticeable signs. then, i just feel that i could stab anyone in the heart, take down a bull, slap anyone on the face, and do anything that i want to do. the heat just boils up to the head and gives me a temporary moment of feeling invincible. i'd wish that my source of anger would explode into bits or let me wipe his or her face on a floor of nails. how much pleasure it would give me if i could fufil it, but temptation must always face a fight with resistance. holding back is one of the hardest things that i try to do and hold be back from trouble. sometimes i think i can't pull it off, but when i think of God and how he would feel if i reacted in the wrong way i'd break his heart and break my promise. (and i fcking hate people who breaks promise or gives empty promises so i always make it a point to keep them.) i tolerate everything, and soon cool off as fast as i was worked up. but honestly, i do feel that one day if i really got angry, i might not be able to take it or hold back anymore and lose control over myself and really harm others. i always let my emotions take control over my brain so there's no telling what i can do when i'm greatly provoked. maybe i might beat the shit out of someone, maybe i might slam someone's head on a wall, i don't know. i hope not. all i know is that i might not be able to hold back anymore, being so consumed with malevolence and just get violent. someone once told me that i scare them when i'm cold and pissed. i wonder what will happen if i'm really angry, which seldom happens. maybe people might decide that i'm a bad person and just leave me. people might conclude that my character isn't that good after all and shun me. then my so-called weapon would be then the cause of my downfall.

this is getting nowhere. i've forgotten my point of my entry. damn, again.

i think anger's a weapon. a powerful yet dangerous weapon. and i think i abuse it. but, i like anger and the power it gives, i really do. maybe i need help.

i've yet to mention that i'm really rude too, together with an attitude problem. but we'll save it for another time huh. don't miss out on another exciting chapter of the invincible fire-breathing dragon HOHO (:

no stopping now

FINALLY, the exams are over. it's been a torturing week, or rather, somewhat. i think i screwed up big time. so many papers (except for today's d&t paper i think i can ace) i haven't a single shit clue on how to do them. I'm prepared for bad results. i deserve it anyway, i don't think i studied as hard as last year. maybe it's because i think that i have tj waiting for me? but that's just a bad excuse. i'm just plain lazy, and i don't listen and learn my lesson. it's my fault and i can't blame anyone if i do badly. however, this year's teacher really didn't motivate me to study hard. i just think that it's all a bore. oh well, what's done is done, i shall concentrate on enjoying life now (:

i can hardly believe that the year's over and there's only about two more weeks of school left! man, how time flies. i'm not in a partying mood yet, surprisingly though. maybe i need time to go crazy, i still think it's like some normal school day =
today after half an hour in school, played volleyball! (: quite fun, though my face is red due to the hot sun. then me and my friends headed to orchard, ate, took neoprints, walked a bit, and ate again before going home. wasn't very mad today considering there were 8 of us, but we were LOUD X) oh and except the parts where we self-entertained ourselves by sitting a circle and crossing our arms, trying to pass the ball around 36 times without dropping. we also tried to 'stick' tissue paper onto our hands and passed it around and embarassed ourselves ONCE AGAIN in swensens. (must be the 54684368th time already, and yes, it's ALWAYS swensens hurhur) oh, how deprived dhs students can get of entertainment that they resort to such lame ways. it must be the stress x)

i'm going shopping on of these days, just walk and shop and eat with my girls (: but tomorrow i'm going to play 6 hours of volleyball then head of and have some fun in the airport mwehehe >:]

man, is it me or i'm starting to feel attached to dhs? maybe it's just those memorable times. i shouldn't think much of it. i'm going to tj, and it's too late to start regretting. =\

just a little bit more

tomorrow is the REAL start of my exams. i'm kinda still slacking, not mugging yet, but i don't know why i feel stressed. maybe i'm just worrying too much about how will i do and what results will i get, after all my parents are the ones who are going to collect my report book on the last day of school. i hope they won't like lecture me in front of all my classmates again, because i got a feeling that i won't meet up to their expectations though i did try to work harder. last semester is going to pull me back down again. damn.

argh whatever, i asked ziying and tiffany over to my house today. they're coming later to study with me. i hope i can get the motivation to really study and yeah, feel accomplished or something. i think i'm quite fast, or so what ziying says. i almost finished revising geography, just that i left a few chapters which i'm just to lazy to finish up. =\ and i'm finishing science fast, i only left the sec 1 chapters to do and a few more hard chapters, will be able to finish up by this week i guess. but i'm tired and yeah i'm stressed. i hpoe i don't give up halfway. i still got lots to do on literature and maths, and i wasn't even planning to revise these in the first place. but i think i'm going to fail maths horribly, sure i can calculate stuffs, but when it's EXAM QUESTIONS it's a whole different thing. i start to panic without a calcualtor, and give up easily because i can't think straight. ms ngau gave the whole class a personalised card though, to bring us good luck. she's a good and a really nice teacher actually, but too bad maths teachers aren't in my favour except for ms koh, my last year's teacher. ms ngau wrote on the card "all the best, believe in yourself, jia you!" and blah blah. real sweet ne. i hope i can though, i don't really have much confidence for maths. and it's almost zero. oh yeah, i haven't touched my chinese yet.

man, i just hope that i don't screw up this exams. and after next week, i'll enjoy life and do so many things that i wanna do, and practically just go crazy. next year is going to be a whole start, but before i go on to next year, i gotta go through these few days first.

i can do it (:

MUSIQ ! :D

yesterday's exam was er, i don't know, wasn't too good, wasn't too bad. but i'm not going to talk much about it. i don't really care anyway. it's so unfair that my school starts the exam so early and ends later than other schools. DAMN. why the breaks between the papers? that's dumb. it's like what, longer period of mugging. i don't like. hmph.

recently i've been hooked on to a few great songs that currently in my playlist now. i think music isn't all about listening to the new, hip, trendy music that's popular now. any good music deserves to be called MUSIC, not like some modern music out there that's just, noise, i call it. evergreen music, whether old or new, never fails to bring out the emotions whenever you listen to it. you never get sick of it.

i was talking to yixian during the science lesson, (cause we weren't paying attention in class hoho) and i kinda started talking about the MIGHTY MORPHINE POWER RANGERS that i used to love when i was young. no doubt i did play with dumb barbie dolls, but i got sick of it easily and a rougher side of me enjoyed playing with power ranger figurines. HAHAHA. one secret let out already x) but other than that, i enjoyed watching the power ranger shows more (: and i loved the movie especially. i thought they were cool and blah blah all the good things that kids would think they are. so yixian and me kinda started to talk about the different characters in the story, (it's been a HELL LONG time since we've watched any of their shows or movies) and the movie, and trying to recall bits and pieces of it. then there was our confessions of how we used to imitate the power rangers like talking to their watch and stuff x) talking about the movie, yixian started to sing part of the song from the power rangers theme song. that familiar tune, catchy lyrics and music striked my heartstrings again. my music love meter was up again 100% (: i realised how much i missed the wonderful popular songs from the screens.

1. Kiss From A Rose - Seal.
One of the most popular songs from the screens, from batman the movie i think. A piece of wonderful music filled with much hero-feel and sensuality and emotions. Brings you back to the old days of dreaming that your hero pr rince charming would save you from danger and carry you off away to the sunset eh? I am in muchos muchos love with this song now, and maybe forever (:

2. I Don't Wanna Be - Gavin DeGraw.
The theme song from Power Rangers The Movie! Also the theme song of a current show showing now called One Tree Hill. (yixian introduced me to this show). I love the chorus and how it talks about how everyone around you are trying to be what their not, hiding their real selves. And all you want to be is yourself and no one else. You're tired from all the lies and pretence and facade that everyone is putting up. It's all false. It's a darn cool song, rock and still with some depth in the music. I love this muchos too.

3. Have A Nice Day - Bon Jovi.
Oh man, I tell you, Bon Jovi is DA MAN. He is one of the most talented musicians with an incredible sense of rock. Since my father's generation till now, my father enjoys his music, and so do I. He's not old and out-of-date all you follow-the-crowd people out there. His music are ever powerful, full of rock, power and the admirable attitude he puts it in his music to make it complete. I never do get sick of his rock songs, he's a classic. I especially love the lyrics from this song, it's THE SONG to listen to if you wanna pick yourself up from a fall. Bon Jovi's songs always have meaningful lyrics, and this one is no different. Take some time to look at the lyrics of this song, the attitude of making the best out of your life as you only live once is ever prominent. Live life to the fullest, like what a special person always used to tell me.

4. Jiang Nan - Lin Jun Jie.
Probably one of the few chinese singers out there which I listen to, very, very rare. Also one of the singers whom I think is talented and musically inclined, and has a very unique voice that captivates me. His ballads are always like magical love spells, and brings out the soft and emotional side of you. This song, well I don't really understand chinese lyrics but I must say that this music has a very soothing melody that anyone can croon to. With his soulful vocals, he wraps up the whole song perfectly. Just like other famous ballads like Yi Qian Nian Yi Hou and Mu Nai Yi, he adds in other elements in the song. For this, he brings in the traditional chinese flute which makes a good effect. A song which you can play on the blue days and just slow down with it. Currently, it's my favourite chinese song (:

Gawd, the more I write, it's like instead of expressing my personal opinions of the song, I'm more like a music reviewer x) oh anyway, I've started studying. (take note, STUDYING, NOT MUGGING.) I revised 9 lessons of geography in 3 hours, not very productive I know but bah, nevermind la. I still got a few more days, I just gotta keep it up and don't give it all up.

I've got all my music on repeats (: can't get enough of them.